Luigi told me another impressive story in which he barely seemed to appear himself. The reason was simple: he consistently spoke in the “we” form. We had discussed this before, and I was surprised that his storytelling had not improved. I pointed it out to him. Luigi looked at me. Oh, how familiar I was with that expression from previous sessions: that calm and friendly look of resistance. “Okay, Luigi, what do you think?”
Peter Näf
Zurich, September 2026
But let’s start at the beginning.
Luigi (name changed) was participating in an outplacement programme with me. We were working on personal branding and practising storytelling. He led a team of highly qualified specialists and was responsible for introducing new services within his company. These company-wide projects were complex and required collaboration across multiple departments. He delivered them successfully and on time – thanks in no small part to the excellent work of his team.
Forget the WE…
His stories impressed me. His team came across extremely well and was obviously successful. Luigi, however, remained invisible. He felt uncomfortable talking about his projects in the “I” form. After all, he could not have made them successful without his team – it had been a team effort. Consequently, he felt like a traitor whenever he put himself in the spotlight.
It was difficult to argue with him. From previous conversations, I knew that he liked to give his employees a stage on which to shine and become visible within the organisation. I considered this an exemplary leadership mindset.
…Unless the situation requires it
The longer we discussed the issue, the clearer it became: Luigi and I were not talking about the same situation at all. For him, positioning himself in everyday business life meant representing his team within the organisation. In that context, speaking in the “we” form made perfect sense.
As a career coach, however, I view positioning from the perspective of personal branding – both when applying for a job and within an organisation. In these situations, the “I” form matters. We were clearly talking about different roles.
Communication therefore begins with a simple question: Who am I representing right now? We identified Luigi’s different roles and assigned a different coloured hat to each one. When wearing the blue hat, Luigi represents his team as a manager within the organisation. In this role, speaking in the “we” form is entirely appropriate. The same applies when he puts on the green hat. In that role, he represents the bank to its clients and customers.
And when he finally puts on the red hat – yes, I won the argument about the colour choice – he speaks in the “I” form. In this role, he represents only himself and advocates for his personal interests: in job applications, annual performance reviews, promotion discussions, and salary negotiations.
Communication does not begin by deciding whether we should say “I” or “we.” It begins with a different question: Which hat are we wearing right now?