Emotions are learned
I use the term emotion and feeling synonymously. It is a psychological process, which is triggered by the conscious or unconscious perception of objects or situations and manifests itself physically. The term is used very differently and therefore its meaning becomes blurred. To put it simply, an emotion always manifests itself when reality does not correspond to our imagination and expectations. We have learned the emotions and create them ourselves again and again. They are based on our mental constructs. However, we usually do not perceive them as self-induced, because the thoughts are often based on social or family agreements. Cultural differences also show up in the emotions. If someone in our culture does not look us in the eye during a conversation, we interpret this as rude and react with anger. Conversely, people from other cultures react to direct eye contact with anger because they interpret it as aggressive.
We are responsible for our emotions
It follows from the explanations that we are responsible for our emotions. When we react emotionally to people or situations, it is not the reason but the trigger of our emotions. This distinction is essential for problem solving. If I am responsible for my own emotions, I have to find a suitable answer to them by means of emotion management. Thereby the emotion might not be appropriate for the situation. Then it is necessary to question the thoughts underlying the emotion and possibly to rethink them. On the other hand, emotions can also give indications of inconsistencies that call for a reaction. In this case emotions are a subtle instrument of perception where our mind often overlooks things. For example, anger can indicate that someone is getting too close to me. It challenges me to defend my legitimate boundaries.