«I’m bad at selling myself!» – said one outplacement client when we were practising a job interview. And he repeated the sentence like a mantra at least half a dozen times during our session. This self-hypnosis was a self-fulfilling prophecy: as he was convinced of his inability to market himself and constantly confirmed it, he couldn’t learn to get better at it. Self-hypnosis is recommended, but ideally with a more meaningful goal.
I have been practising autogenic training for years. I relax my body and mind and say affirmations to myself in a state of calm. This technique is based on the idea that mostly unconscious beliefs control our behaviour. Using autogenic training, we replace negative beliefs with positive ones, thereby influencing our perception and behaviour.
If a person thinks he is a bad self-marketer, he will continue to torpedo himself despite his efforts to sell himself better. And this will continue until he has replaced his negative belief with a more productive one.
Positive «self-talk»
This is because our subconscious overrides our mind and will, as I explained in the article «Subconscious versus mind 1:0». Attitude is always reflected in behaviour.
However, you can have a positive effect on your attitude by refraining from negative self-talk, which constantly cements the wrong self-concept. Instead, practice positive «self-talk» as used in cognitive behavioural therapy and positive psychology. It is a simple concept that you can practise yourself at any time without having to undergo any training.
The difficulty, however, is that we are often unaware of our negative self-conditioning: We have internalised beliefs, e.g. from parents, teachers or even the zeitgeist, and have never questioned them.
Listen carefully
To stay with the example of self-marketing: Many people have probably never questioned the statements made by educators that modesty is a virtue. Even if the statement is not wrong, it depends on the measure. If we do not supplement modesty with healthy self-marketing, we damage ourselves through over-modesty and undermine our professional progress.
It is therefore important to recognise our inner adversaries. A coach, a therapist or even trusted friends can draw our attention to them. But you can also help yourself: More and more often, I pay attention to what I say or think and use it to get to the bottom of things. I then listen in amazement to my Freudian slips that don’t at all match my perceived self-image and my consciously cultivated beliefs.
When I catch myself in negative «self-talk», I mentally rewind and rephrase. I repeat the corrected sentence out loud several times so that it becomes familiar to me and, over time, becomes my new programme.
#coaching #personalitydevelopment #career
More articles on the topic:
«Subconscious versus mind 1:0»
«Hypnosis of the interviewers»