In the article «Why I don’t use personality tests», I explained why, when it comes to identifying personal strengths, I prefer self-observation through storytelling over external assessments via tests. But can we truly recognize all our strengths through self-observation alone?
For self-awareness, it is essential that we can see our personal strengths ourselves. We achieve this by telling ourselves our personal stories. In storytelling, we recall past experiences and let them play out like a movie in our mind’s eye. In doing so, we observe ourselves from the perspective of a third person and see our strengths, much like close acquaintances do when we ask them for feedback.
Since we use the same stories to both recognize and communicate our strengths, storytelling is an effective tool for both strengthening self-confidence and improving self-marketing.
Natural and acquired strengths
The problem is that we often cannot see our greatest strengths. Why is that? In personality analysis as part of a personal and professional assessment, I distinguish between natural and acquired strengths. When I used to work as a headhunter and asked young job seekers about their strengths, they often named the skills they had worked hard to acquire and were particularly proud of. These are indeed strengths — but acquired ones. Natural strengths, on the other hand, are those we are innately born with.
I, for example, am a balancing, mediating person and have always been good at resolving conflicts between parties. Confrontation, however, used to be difficult for me. I have since learned it, but because it is an acquired strength, it costs me energy and I need to do it consciously and with preparation. The use of natural strengths, in contrast, happens unconsciously — it feels more like something is happening through us than something we are actively doing. As long as these strengths feel natural and self-evident, we are unable to recognize them in our own stories.
We take ourselves for granted
This is why it makes sense to ask people in our personal or professional circles for their impressions. They recognize our qualities because they don’t take them for granted. The well-known approach of seeking external perceptions for self-awareness therefore remains valid. However, the way you ask is important. If you ask about strengths and weaknesses, you will receive interpretations. Instead, ask what your feedback providers observe in your behaviour. And if, based on their feedback, you are also able to see this behaviour in yourself, you can infer your natural strengths from it.
And why is it important to distinguish between natural and acquired strengths? Because as we age, our energy diminishes. That’s why we should aim to rely more and more on our natural strengths throughout our careers – as I described in the article «Energy-efficient work 60plus».
#strengths #storytelling #personalbranding
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