Have you ever envied someone who seems to do everything effortlessly? I think this effort-lessness is, to a certain extent, an optical illu-sion. Some people know how not to visualise their effort or not to perceive it as such, because they can put it away more easily than others.
Some time ago, I was hit by a small attack of envy while coaching a young client. She told me what she had done in her life so far during the personal and professional assessment: she had an impressive academic career. In addition, she had worked successfully in various functions and industries. She was involved in music and sport, partly at a competitive level, and she cultivated unusual hobbies. On top of that – and let me mention this here for once – she was also outrageously good-looking. She told me all this with a beaming smile and a lightness of touch, as if it were nothing at all. I discreetly checked her CV from time to time to make sure I wasn’t mistaken about her age
And you see them in the light…
While she was talking, I, or rather my self-worth, became smaller and smaller. I thought that either life was terribly unfair, or I was completely lacking in talent. Everything I had achieved in my life was the result of work and effort. Everything seemed to come to her completely effortlessly.
When she told me that she was constantly suffering from the envy of those around her, I asked her more in-depth questions. Lo and behold, she had worked hard for all her achievements. She had shown a lot of perseverance and repeatedly forced herself out of her comfort zone in a way that I would never de-mand of myself. In addition, she had shown a determination that would have been the envy of anyone. My view of the world was somewhat restored.
…and you can’t see the ones in the dark
In this context, I remembered how someone compared a person’s life to a tree: we only see the trunk, crown, leaves and fruit of the tree; the result or success, so to speak. For the tree to reach its size, it had to grow to the same extent underground – and additional growth on the surface could only be achieved through further growth underground. The effortless sprouting above the ground is accompanied by a tedious struggle of the roots against resistance in the hard soil.
Even if not everyone’s soil is the same or they have better personal prerequisites for certain things, we all must work and overcome resistance to achieve success.
For some, however, it may be easier, as Lawrence of Arabia said in the film of the same name: «The secret is not that it doesn’t hurt, but that you don’t care that it hurts».